My name is Dorie and I am
37 years old. I live in sunny Southern California.
To being my story, I
married when I was 16 years old to a man, 20 years old - who I thought loved me
for me. I was over weight my whole life, and thought if he loved me with this
fat, then he must really love me. Unfortunately, he was physically, mentally
and emotionally abusive, controlling beyond imagination. I was forbidden from
seeing or speaking to my family and for 16 years had no friends.
After 16 years of marriage
I figured it must be me that was the problem in our marriage regarding his anger
issues. I felt responsible since I was still overweight. Who could be happy
with a woman who weighed 279 lbs.? It was at that point that I decided to claim
my life back. I joined a gym (female only gym), hired a personal trainer and a
My husband (at the time)
gave me the money to help pay for the gym, etc. I know he must have been
thinking that I have tried this so many times before and I failed each time.
But this time it was different. I was changing – because I could not stand to
see the woman I became, really - who could love me like this?
The personal trainer I
hired went through EXACTLY what I was doing with every aspect of my life and
with her encouragement and unbelievable kind words I ended up a year later being
at the goal I had set – which was 175 lbs. This journey has been very emotional
for me, as a year and a half later I am now 150 lbs. and toned. I loved the new
me and I could see the efforts of all of my hard work. My self esteem was
beaming, as I was feeling so good about me!
My husband looked at me
one day and tried to demoralize my self esteem. I was so taken back, thinking
we had been married for over 19 years now and he comes back with this comment.
I needed support not hurtful or demeaning words. It was at this time that a
light bulb went on inside at the same time and I finally could see him for what
he was. An insecure selfish jerk…..it was never about me and my weight. I
looked at him right then and said I want a divorce. Telling my children that
their mommy and daddy were divorcing was harder however. My children were 17,
15, and 11 years at the time. They took it hard understandably, however they
had seen how things were for so long. I gave them the option to either move
with me or to stay with their Dad, and reassured them that no matter where they
would be I would always love them.
My two oldest who are boys
wanted to stay with their Dad and finish high school. My daughter, who is the
youngest - wanted to be with me. I told her it would be a few days but I would
be back to get her. I ended up packing right away and left. I walked away from
a $750,000 home which was paid off and a combined income of over $200,000 plus a
year. I ended up moving in with a great friend in which; I had nothing but my
clothing and pictures of the kids. My income was now only $30,000 a year, so
this was a huge adjustment.
A few days later, I picked
up my daughter and moved into a single bedroom together for four months until I
could save up the money for an apartment. I financed all the furniture and just
finding money for day to day essentials was a struggle. All I knew was that I
was finally free and understanding what happiness was truly about. My parents
helped out with making sure my daughter would not go without any necessities.
One month later I filed
for divorce. My oldest son ended up giving me an ultimatum that either I move
back in with his father or he would have nothing to do with me. Unfortunately,
I have not spoken to my son in over two years now as he has chosen not to speak
to me. I understand he is hurt that the family is fractured now, but I do hope
in time he will understand why I had to leave when I did. I was an empty soul
when I was with his father and I finally understood that the only one standing
in the way of my happiness was my self. I miss my son so very much; my heart is
broken because of this aftermath and I hope and pray that someday all of this
will be behind us.
I started to date and
found how much times have changed. Dating was okay but I knew if I were to be
intimate with a man, my body still showed the years of how the excess weight
took its toll. I knew I needed to do something as soon as I could afford the
surgery. I needed a Tummy Tuck, Breast Augmentation and Breast Lift, my inner
thighs and my arms needed a lift as well. I saved as much as I could for over 2
years. I ended up saving over $8,000 and my Dad helped me with giving me an
additional $6,000 to go towards the surgery. The surgery was going to be
$14,000, in which I was scheduled for an extended tummy tuck. Financially I had
to do the surgeries I needed in steps, but still life was good, I loved me, and
I loved my life.
I still needed to have a
breast augmentation and a lift. My breasts have never been perky or pretty in
any sense of the word, and the weight loss had taken its toll on my breast
tissue. I researched extensively what I was hoping for with these procedures.
This had to wait however;
until I would have the money.
A year ago I finally met
my soul mate who is the love of my life. I never knew life could be so great –
and thought I was dreaming! He is amazing in every sense of the word – and he
loved me like no other man has ever loved me before. Unfortunately due to the
economic downturn, I lost my job in November 2008. Because of this, my daughter
and I live with him now. I was able to save over $3,000 to go towards my breast
augmentation and lift – but realized that once on unemployment – my dream of
having a breast augmentation was a long ways away. I wanted to feel like a real
woman who had beautiful breasts. Although, I was so very fortunate to have a
wonderful life with my new husband – I secretly was devastated that I could
never save the remaining money I needed for my surgery.
My husband, the amazing
man he is - came to me and said that he would pay for the balance of the
surgery, as he knew I needed this to feel complete and whole again. He told me
to make the appointment….and my journey to my dream boobs was within sight!
Three days later, my consult was here and I knew exactly what I wanted as I had
been researching this procedure for years! I told my plastic surgeon I wanted
800cc implants. I love having a little bit of side boob – I emphasized that I
wanted big fake looking saline breasts.
Two weeks later I finally
had my breast augmentation and lift. I paid for the lollipop lift and for the
breast augmentation….however; my plastic surgeon the day of surgery asked me if
I wanted him to do whatever it takes to make my breasts perfect. There was no
hesitation, I told him of course. I woke up four hours later with really big
implants and a full anchor lift. My result is perfect as perfect can be. My
plastic surgeon is an artist and I never dreamed in all of my life that I would
ever end up with these perfect breasts.
Because of the weight
loss, I had a log of extra skin that was on the sides of my breast under the arm
area. My plastic surgeon knew this bothered me, so I was scheduled for another
surgery to remove this extra tissue. This surgery went off without a hitch and
I woke up with no extra skin or scars! The surgery lasted two hours and woke up
with no pain or pressure.
My plastic surgeon,
Dr. Sajjadian has made such an impact on me and my self esteem. I am amazed by him
and his work….he had the ability to see “what could be” and gave it to me! Both
surgeries went exceptionally well with very little pain. Recovery was easy and
all I needed was Tylenol. Trying to sleep however, was a challenge and after
trying to sleep upright for 72 hours with no avail, I finally did sleep for four
Post op tip:
If you have the chance to buy a
recliner chair before your surgery – do it! They help so much, and believe me
if I need another surgery I will definitely be purchasing one.
At this time, I have
decided not to have surgery on my arms however; I am still considering my inner
thighs. I do finally feel like a sexy woman who is in complete control of
everything around her. I do not take anything in my life for granted, and I
cherish everything and everyone in my life. I do believe in Karma – so I don’t
waste my time on negative energy. I love my new breasts – yes they are BIG -
but they are so ME! And for the first time in my life – I love myself!
My husband and I are now
considering having a baby, and I am finally ready for this! At 37 years
old, I am finally seeing a lot of things for the very first time, almost like I
am exploring and seeing things through the eyes of a child. I love my
husband completely and I want to thank him for the support, guidance, and
compassion he has unselfishly given to me. You have allowed me to become
“me”. To all my Cosmetic Surgery Forum friends – live life to the fullest.
You are so worth it and each and every one of you are beautiful.